Really......just a personal issue

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Now playing: Mary J. Blige - Just Fine (Main)
via FoxyTunes
Ok, so here I go.

Have you seen this photo.
Isn't she just too cute. She is the spitting image of her very elegant mom. I am so jealous :). She IS a style icon already. The world was abuzz by this photo. The question was, is this little girl too old to be hanging on to a pacifier.

Ok just to cut to the chase. Who really cares and is it any of our business. Ooops did I say something wrong. No seriously this is what is so wrong with women in general. I mean really if Suri's teeth come in crooked due to extended pacifier use, I think they might be able to get to the orthodontist to get her fixed up. Who knows they probably already has the world's best lined up. But most importantly when whatever happens, will I be there to hold her hand, will I open the bill, will I have to nag her to keep her retainer in. Not in the slightest. So why do some many people care, because some of us women love to judge.

It is this right to a quick judgment that keeps me from playgroups, mom's meetings, breastfeeding support groups, and general society interactions. It is because of this mindset I will drive, walk, bus, out of my way to get my kids to a playground where there is no one. I don't want this same lash of criticism. If one of my children's hair is not combed. Someone's jeans are ripped, or if we wore no shoes. I could give you a milion and one reason why this may occur, all which most of you as mothers would understand. But why should I have to. Hey, you're a mom can't you dream some up. Why do you suppose that if my child's shirt is dirty, or hair is out of place, or I look run over, we feel that explains my class, culture, mother capabilities and generally whether I am worthy or not.

I usually don't say this out loud. I usually leave my antisocial behavior to me just being some type of misfit. A wonderful open blogger posted about her hermit like behaviors, and wondered why others may or may not be.

This is a large reason why I am a hermit. I never feel like I fit in. I don't fit any stereotype, genre, location, or graph. And because a certain behavior, style, or allowance of mine may overstep the boundaries of your box, I will be judged.

Me, I look at it like this. A pacifier for many older children are a security item. I am sure if she could or would have ever experienced it she would prefer her mom's bosom. Maybe she dislikes all her handlers and wishes she could just hold her mom's hand. Maybe she is frightened by all clicks and flashes she sees every time she steps out. Maybe her ears hurt her from people yelling her parents names. Maybe she wishes for longer snuggle time or co sleeping where her Mom and Dad lay in bed with her so she can feel their warmth and listen to their heartbeat and know all is well in her world. And maybe she needs an extra level of comfort before stepping out into a world that more resembles the floor of the stock exchange than a walk through central park.

These are my eyes. I wonder if the homeless lady in the tattered wool blanket who is standing in the middle of the street yelling obscenities, has family, or does she have a diagnosed mental oddity, does she love her mom, what was her childhood like.

I would do this for you as well. When your little one decides it is great timing to pitch a fit in the checkout lane of the busy grocery store, and there is no bagger in sight, and you forgot to grab that $50 your husband left on the table for you and now you are counting the change out of the bottom of your purse, of course that you have to dump out and all the contents spill loudly to the floor. I will help you pick them up. I will instruct my children to the same (all 8 of them, think of how fast it would all pick up). I would give you an understanding smile. Most of all, I would never repeat the story to anyone. What so my "friends" could laugh at how obviously disorganized, without the ability to control their child, probably on some type of assitance or fixed income, mother you are. No I wouldn't do it.

Would you do the same for me? Suri is a cutie pie, enough said.