Things I Have Read

I read this post over at Mama-graphy. The blog is by a very thoughtful and wonderful spirited mom of some very busy adorable little ones. This particular post was entitled "Where are all the Black Kids?" Please read the post yourself, because I do a horrible job of paraphrasing.

I don't watch the news much. Of course in these days of internet, smart phones, who needs to. There is a reason why newspapers are folding all across America. But the reason I swore off news shows, for the most part,was I began to feel as if the majority of their segments were just nonsense, sensationalized, fear inciting, attention grabbing gunk. The eptimone of this feeling came when a segment on a channel came on releasing the latest results of the local public school standardized tests. The reporter spend about 3 minutes informing all of us that blacks still are far behind white in just about every subject. And that was it. I thought, was that necessary. Why did I need to know that information. Would it make a mother choose to read to child who normally didn't. Would it encourage a teacher to implement a new strategy? What was the information given? I could not find a good reason for it, but old fashioned attention grabbing smut.

So needles to say I don't by into or believe the hype. This is why I found this post so very interesting. The mother was wondering out loud as to why there not more (or in this case any)blacks in the extra curricular activities she has her children involved in, and than further was this telling of our expectation of our children and why it seems black children are failing.

My response:


I wonder if we are over simplifying a very complex and personal problem. AAs make up only 12.6% of the population. So, when we choose to do an activity that is a smaller % partakes in say homeschooling or summer camps, isn't it only normal that AA will than be a smaller, if not smallest slice of that pie. . So all those black kids are probably at home playing their video games like all the other white kids.

Your post was barely 24 hour old and yet you have had responses for at least 2 other mothers of color who are doing very similar things with their children as you are. I too am a homeschooling momma of 8. I began over 9 years ago as a single mom, working out side of the home full-time. I am now married and I continue to work outside of the home. If it wasn't for our geographical differences it appears you might have several more children of color in the class. So already your question has been answered, we are here! We are different parts of this city, county, state, and country doing the same thing you are. Let's get a cruise together and we can all meet up.

I don't believe there is an education gap. {{gasp goes the crowd}}My black boys can learn, has learned, and will continue to learn at the same rate as his white counter parts. There are some subjects my children excel and others they do not. My black girls enjoy math, and except for attempting to cut up the pig, absolutely love science. Especially because it helps them so much in their baking. Personally, I don't allow the amount of money (I don't make lol) or my marital status or where I live define who they will become or who I am. I believe when we take responsibility for ourselves and our family and we begin to fully understand that every aspect of these children's live depends on what we do than maybe others will likely become more involved in their children's education. I don't educate to a test. You can believe in an education gap I know what my children are capable and I never allow some outsider to limit it.

There is a huge issues of class that your are speaking to. There are still children who may still be 1st generation high school graduates. For those parents all they may see is that huge accomplishment of getting them out of high school. While for you and others high school may be a given, a non speaking point, you are looking further. Oprah said something once (of course more than once the lady is always talking). Being raised by her southern grandma, she said many times that her grandmother's biggest wish for her was to find some "good" white people to work for. Oprah laughed and said I wonder how her grandmother would feel if she knew I have a few good white people working FOR me. So many parents are living a very different life. A life that we may have worked hard to leave behind or separate from. But for these families they struggle with just wanting their children to graduate without babies, keeping their boys off the street and out of jail. I will not say that this are indeed accomplishment for these families. But as I have told my daughter, that is not MY defining goal for her. I don't plan on lowering my standards for my family. However I understand that for this family it is all they can see. Personally, I have silly ideas of world travel, higher education, missionary service, no sex before marriage, no dating until ready for marriage....some of these may not be your goals and that is okay.

I wonder if media plays a part in this distortion. I was raised with 2 parents, they worked, we went to libraries, museums, I played ball in the backyard with my dad and my siblings. And until I was almost 13 and ALL my experience were with other AA families that looked, walked, talked just like mine. There was no drinking, no smoking. It wasn't perfect , no family is, but this was normal to me. Around 13, I remember when I began to meet other families that were single parent, or earned much less than my family an they had a different story. Trust me I was shocked to know that they never went pumpkin picking outside of their kindergarten class. What do you mean you don't spend hours at the library? Your parents didn't take you on a college tour? Most of the remarks I said to myself. Normally our family would just enjoy allowing said child/family participate with us on this new adventure. I learned to see them and accept them and learn from them.

And from there my last point. What is so wrong about not gaining a college degree. Are we saying a happy life is only attained in a mini mansion, 2 cars and take out? What about those who want to make sure there children are doing something they love, not just following a paycheck? One can live very happy on very little money, with no debt, if they chose a simple lifestyle. If one of my sons wanted to become a carpenter, great (as long as he built me a house..okay or at least a kitchen) if he enjoyed it I would love it. If a child, graduates from high school, has a pretty good personality, awesome etiquette, is productive and law abiding will I whine that said child just made the % of blacks not going off to higher education larger...no.

There are choices. One of my jobs as a parent is to show them their many choices and the potential results of them. I don't follow statistics, they may have me give up my boys too soon, or force a non traditional learner into a college setting that not do they hate but fail in. I don't care what the tests say. I am here for MY child. I can't lay came to anyone else's. I also won't fool them into believing that a piece of paper is what will define them and foretell their future..(the Governor of my state can back that one up.)

I am always a little saddened about being the only or the few. The only black homeschooling family. The only large black family. The only home cooked meal family, the only non broadcast TV family, but all of these were my choice. So while I dream of one day finding a family (maybe yours) that I can intertwine my journey with, I choose to stay the course. I choose to laugh at the test results, the statistics, and standards because well we don't fit ANY of them. But than again that's the home birthing, extended breastfeeding, co sleeping, attached parenting, home cooking, submissive wife, gospel spreading, only girl, blacksheep, kind of freak that I am.